Have you ever felt like you made a really big mistake only to realize later that it was in fact the jumping off point to something better? I recently read a LinkedIn article by Deepak Chopra MD, entitled “My Best Mistake: Impulsive Rebellion,” explaining how one of his biggest mistakes—walking out on a tyrannical supervisor who then blacklisted him as a doctor—led him to explore the path of alternative medicine for which he is so well known today.
He said, “My impulsive rebellion was instinctive and yet very unlike me.” Oh, how I can relate. There were two big decisions—that at the time, I feared might be mistakes—that led me to healthier eating, and eventually, my work in nutrition. The first was in 1999.
I had been in a relationship for 12 years, the last three of which we were married. We were literally the boy and girl next door, and fell for each other immediately upon meeting at age 17. We started officially dating at 20 (let’s hear it for the late-bloomers) and were together until 32.
Not long into our short marriage I became increasingly frustrated with our inability to live a responsible and happy life as a couple. No problem had emerged in our marriage that had not been there before, but the construct of marriage had given me hope that things could be different. We were utterly stuck, and I soon realized that the idea of marriage helping a relationship was a flimsy foundation on which to buy a wedding dress.
I anguished over the word “divorce” and played out the reactions in my head to delivering the news to my family and friends. Two lives would forever be changed by this one decision—this one potential mistake. While my final decision to divorce was not impulsive, it was definitely instinctive. I felt like I had been treading water for some time and a shark was heading my way. I knew that there had to be a bigger purpose to my life than reruns of Seinfeld and dinners at Jack in the Box, where, believe it or not, we got engaged over greasy tacos.
After we parted ways, my life began to change in very deliberate ways. I was driven to know myself better, improve areas of my life that I had ignored (like my health), and find joy by reconnecting with the things I loved to do. First on my "to do" list was to take up salsa dancing. Second was to dump the Standard American Diet (SAD) that we had grown so accustomed to as a couple. I was a health nut at heart who had lost her way.
I started to eat better right away, but with little nutrition education under my belt, it took me a while to get the hang of it; but I eventually did! And if I had not followed through with that decision that I feared might be a mistake, I am certain I would not be in such good health—physically, mentally and spiritually—as I am today at age 46.
As for my ex, in the years that followed we remained friends and talked about how the decision to divorce, although hard at first, had changed both of our lives for the better. It had kicked us and our immaturity off the couch and into greater purpose and confidence, things we had both desired but couldn’t quite realize when we were together. The romantic sentiment “two as one” had become a stumbling block that we needed to jump over if we were going to fly as individuals. This obviously is not the answer for every struggling couple, but it was for us.
He went on to earn his Master’s degree and travel the world as an English teacher, learning languages, meeting people from all over, and discovering his own passions. And I began a new chapter as a healthier person, as well as began a new career as a writer and editor, which leads me to my second big “mistake.”
In 2006 I was the managing editor of a well-read, national trade magazine, and I was miserable. I had climbed the ladder to this, my dream job, only to learn in time that it would require some unfortunate trade-offs: mainly my off-time and my dream-time, not to mention quite a bit of my drive-time, crying at the wheel after yet another day of stress (and increasing heartburn), wondering if this is what success felt like for other people.
Unlike Deepak Chopra, who made his “mistake" while being berated by his supervisor, I was sitting at home editing another writer’s poorly written article on its way to print, and I remember saying out loud to myself, “That’s it!” I was done, done, done cleaning up other people’s shoddy work! I had considered resigning in the past, but couldn’t bear the thought of being seen as a quitter in the face of adversity, and leaving a job I had worked so long and hard to get.
Would this be a mistake? Would I regret it? I wasn’t sure at the time, but I knew one thing: I needed to change how I was feeling. After resigning, my gut reinforced to me that it was not a mistake and to give it time, to have faith in myself and my instincts. I didn’t want to land in this situation again, so I started brainstorming a new career with a job coach, which led me to work in teaching and nutrition (you can read more about that process here).
And here I am, still doing what I love: writing, editing, creating and connecting with others, but on my own terms and with improved health and much less stress. Now that I am actually doing work that I’m passionate about, and in a way that feels good to me day-to-day, I am much happier. I also sleep like a log, and now when I drive I sing instead of cry.
What I thought might be a mistake turned out to be a powerful springboard to the next exciting, but vastly more rewarding chapter of my life. “The only way to see if there are demons lurking outside the circle is to crawl over the boundary that protects you,” said Chopra, noting that walking out on his supervisor was the real start of his “revelatory” life.
We seem to learn early in life to “hang in there” at all costs, and that if we walk out, fall down, move on, or break up, that we are weak. But what if the opposite is really true? Aren’t these the very things that most often make us stronger? I had to break up with the SAD diet, and fall down time and again while learning to eat better, to get to where I am today.
If I hadn’t listened to myself and moved on from chronically dissonant situations in my life, I would not have discovered what true health really is, food-wise and life-wise. Who knows, your next big “mistake” may very well be a door of opportunity just waiting to be opened.
What was a “mistake” that helped lead you to a healthier life? Please feel free to share below. Thank you!
Angela Wave Glasser
Hi Cathy! I love this post. Thank you for sharing.
Cathy
Thank you Angela! 😉 xo
Emma
Hi Cathy- thanks for your great post! My biggest "mistake" (which again, turned out to be the best decision of my life) was moving overseas kind of on a whim, where I ended up on an incredibly low income. Due to this, I bought and ate nothing but bananas, apples, legumes, brown rice and frozen vegetables for 4 months. It resulted in me feeling better and having more energy than I ever had before! Being forced to skip foods I usually ate daily made me aware of how healthy "simple eating" can be. Since that point, regardless of my budget, I shopped consciously, saved money, and put that extra money towards educating myself about nutrition through books and online courses.
Craig Holman
Interesting. I have been aware of the challenges of affluence when it comes to healthy lifestyle. I have considered moving to Ecuador. We'll see. But if I follow good information as with this site I may still do well here.
Diane Hall
I did move to Ecuador and love it - the fresh veggies/fruits are amazing. There are only a couple of things unavailable here - one being nutritional yeast! If you ever do come here, please bring me some! 🙂
Jane Dales
An inspiration Cathy. Thanks for a great article.
RachaelRei
Very powerful post, thank you for sharing!!
Cathy
Thank you Rachael. 😉
David Brunk
Cathy, thanks, good inspiration....the same hot water that hardens the egg, softens the carrot....answers are different for different individuals......what's universal is one must seek.....BTW, my wife, Pam, is looking forward to your visit to Tucson this weekend...she's signed up for you class. All the best. db
Cathy
Hi David, I love that saying! Not heard it before. Oh cool! I look forward to meeting her! 😉
Cindy
Thanks for sharing, very thought provoking and encouraging message! And thanks for sharing all your wonderful recipes and healthy insights too!!!
Cathy
Thank you Cindy! 🙂
Andrea Potts
A brilliant chef, teacher, and now I see, writer. You have been an inspiration to this non- cook from the day I first attended your True North cooking demo!
Cathy
Hi Andrea! Good to see you! Aww, thank you so much. 😉 xo
Wanda
Thanks Cathy for sharing your story. It is more inspirational than you know.
Cathy
😉
Yvonne
Cathy, thank you for sharing - very inspirational. My big mistake... well the biggest was killing myself at work. I was working 12-16 hr days and after 4 years at this pace when my health started to give way I knew where to go. i ended up at Dr McDougall's 10 day program and reconnected with a normal pace.. and myself. I returned home and have since lost 90 lbs and, more importantly, have regained my health. I feel phenomenal and am really happy I made these changes - the food is great! I look at that as the best investment I have made in myself in a very, very long time. Best wishes and thank you for your blog!
Cathy
Hi Yvonne, that's awesome!! Woo hoo!! Love to hear stories like that, and thanks for sharing. It's good for others to hear as well. Thank you! 😉 Cathy
Saffron
I just joined your blog after a wonderful cooking class at True North. First, I can't believe you're 46 - I just can't wrap my brain around that because you look twenty years younger. Second, you're a terrific writer; really fantastic. And lastly, my introduction to your blog is very timely as I just recently walked out on my job of seven years and while I know it was the best "mistake" I've made, I'm still in the midst of discovering and following my bliss. Thanks for that post - It is very inspiring.
Cathy
Saffron, thank you so much! Thanks too for the writing kudos! I've missed writing essays like it and hope to do more in addition to the recipe posts. 😉 Cathy
Debbie
I know! that 4+ years ago I made the best "move" of my life by quitting a job I'd had for 19 miserably, self-effacing years. Having dealt with low self-esteem and an eating disorder for too many years not to be ashamed, I'm still living in the same "dump", looking forward to my big 'move', but am far too slowly getting there. It's posts like all of everyone's I've read, and to you, Cathy, for posting such powerfully uplifting thoughts about what we "could be" and prob'ly already are - just haven't done the "leg work"! That's me in an organically raw nutshell! I'm on my way - but feel more empowered and self-assured just by reading YOUR post and the responses of so many other followers of you. I'm going to be with you for a very long time! Bless you - and be well! Thank you so much!
Cathy
Thank you so much, Debbie! I'm glad what I wrote resonated with you, and that you are hopeful about moving forward. All the best to you! Hug to you! 😉
Linda Hugues
Thanks Cathy. Wonderful, moving post. Thanks for sharing your story.
Raenika
Thank you for sharing, really inspirational! I relate in many ways. I came out of an 8 year relationship I had become 'stuck' in from age 19-27, and began a roller-coaster of adventures and 'mistakes' soon after, what I now look back on as the most exhilarating time of my life, which has started leading me on my own patch to my true dreams, happiness and ultimate long term goals. Similarly, I also had fallen into a poor diet, career and general lifestyle to accommodate another person and the life I had made fit into a 'two as one' at too young an age to even understand myself yet, I had neglected my upbringing and love of healthy organic foods, had buried dreams and passions and had gotten myself stuck in jobs I hated that paid the bills and progressed me up the income ladder quickly - I compromised my own style, my own artistic and creative passions, and thought what I was doing was selfless and noble at the time, putting myself second and being of 'service', I questioned what I was actually being of service to when I myself was not happy, inspired, or healthy.. So much changed when I started making choices for me and after my relationship ended, I met great people as I began pursuing the things I loved and prioritising healthy passions, hobbies and studies, I soon found out what I loved and started studying a Bachelor Degree in Nutrition and soon met a like-minded new partner with similar passions and interests.. But the next stumble came last year, due to financial pressures and misfortunes, I had to reluctantly return to my old career type, and so right now I am working for a magazine in advertising sales and pretty miserable, I am turning 30 this year, and have deferred my nutrition studies that I love so much... My next chapter , I am trying to plot out the way somehow to make the switch back out of this, take a risk, and get back to my study and somehow be able to make ends meet - as my dream is to start my own business and website with inspiration, stories, recipes, resources, to be a qualified Naturopath - and to share my stories if it may help one other person in their life or offer them new ideas.. Keep up your great work, as reading these posts from you and others in the field keeps me inspired to not give up on what I love, and I am sure many others feel the same way! - Raenika
Bob
I wouldn't call anything in my past mistakes, but I try to learn from my choices and move forward and make better ones. I'm super blessed in my life even though if I may have done things different in hindsight. But, had I done things different I wouldn't be here and have such a blessed life, would I? As you say, "Who knows, your next big “mistake” may very well be a door of opportunity just waiting to be opened" I agree, thanks I really enjoyed this post and your blog.
Cathy
I agree! Thanks for your comment Bob! I'm glad you enjoyed the post. 😉
regina
I love this tale about following your heart and your gut (and your stomach!).
-Regina
Cathy
Ha, stomach is right! Thank you! 🙂
Dedicated Traveller
Thanks for confirming that what I have perceived as a mistake may be life changing. Last year I sold my business of nearly 5 years in which I put my body through terrible things! I decided to get out for my health's sake and sold at a reduced price just to get put.
I wanted to get as far away from that lifestyle as possible and agreed to join my husband in another state work a work transfer. Not even weeks into the move I thought it was a huge mistake. But retuning wasn't an option. I decided to use the spare time I had to heal myself. Many hrs of reading and research and visiting alternative health specialist put me on the road to wellness.
I was so motivated by what I was learning that I have decided to go back to school to become and Nutritional Therapist! Moving and going through the battles of a business would not have put me on the path that I am passionate about for the first time in my life!
FYI, still missing home though!
Cathy
Wow, thanks for your comment! That's great! 😉
Mary
Cathy:
Thanks so much for this post! I agree with one of the previous writers that I have been indeed very blessed in life! If I could claim a 'mistake' it would be listening to people that told me I was too skinny, I looked i was from Cambodia and other such stupid comments. I'm 5 foot one and have always been on the rather small side. I wasn't trying to be, just was.
After 29 years of marriage I'm now sitting at about 30 pounds heavier than when i first got married! ugh Of course some of that is probably age,(decreased activity) but I have to say that most of it is just the change in diet and keeping up with my husband! acccck! He is NOT short so it was really silly of me to adapt my diet to his. Anyway...due to many health wake up calls and just basically feeling lousy, I've decided to make a major shift in my diet. Finding your web site is a HUGE blessing. The food looks amazing, tastes great and I'm fortunate that you make your stuff using healthy stuff!! As one reviewer said..you cut the crap! 😀 Thanks Cathy
mar~
PS if you ever write a book--I will buy it!!!!!!
Kevin Smith
Really good post Cathy!
BARB
after donating one of my kidney I realized i didn't have a taste for meat, fish, cheese or eggs anymore. I stopped eating all of these and I feel so much better, sleep better and have more energy. Who would have thought that giving a kidney would lead me to better health!
Barb G
Cathy
Wow, that is interesting! Thanks Barb! 😉
Chris Shaw
I have eaten whole foods for many years, and I decided to try eating vegan just last week. I wanted to eliminate dairy, oil and fish. Your recipes have made this a breeze. The pear tidbit, Creamy Coleslaw, Burrito Bowl with Guacamole and Salsa, Dijon-lime Dressing,Rosemary Mushrooms & Kale are delicious and a breeze to prepare. I plan to make the Creamy Mushroom Soup tomorrow for dinner. Thank you so much for generously sharing your recipes. They are beautifully laid out and the photos are superb. I love the way you write.
Cathy
Thank you so much, Chris! 🙂 I really appreciate your comments. You've been busy! So glad to hear you ditched the dairy and other things. Take care! 😉
Michael
Hi Cathy,
My name is Mike. We met at True North. I'm home now(Orlando, Fl) and very thankful for this website as it keeps me excited and passionate about a lifestyle change to healthy whole foods. Again, thank you.
Cathy
Hi Mike, I love to hear that! 🙂 Happy New Year!
Paul Borst
I know it has been a year since you posted. But I just discovered this. The insight is truly remarkable. Thank you for sharing.
Cathy
Thanks for your comment, Paul. 🙂
Carol White
Hey Cathy can you come to Australia ?? PLEASE
I just discovered you this morning and can't stop reading. Have been on a bit of a mission of late investigation food and its relation to cancer. Not that I have cancer, touch wood. But just my own thoughts that the world is been poisoned by the food we are eating. Why so much sickness? I'm not a crack pot with a conspiracy theory just an ordinary mother, grandmother who loves food cooking and family. Recently 2 lovely girls opened a cafe in Hobart Tasmania no sugar salt oil vegetarian it's amazing food they are so passionate I go there almost every day. I think they have based the cafe on your life style. And it's growing word of mouth they are really busy.
Cathy
How cool! Thank you for your note, Carol! Would love to come there someday! 🙂
Bruce G
Hi Cathy, I am fasting at TN right now. Middle of the night but I went to bed early and just woke up and was browsing your site. So many of your recipes really strike a cord!
Thanks so much for sharing your story above. I think anyone who embarks on a healthier PBWF diet must have gone through a phase of frustration and realization that there must be more to life, before moving on from the beige of mainstream existence. I think people who do are probably more advanced and sensitive beings on many levels.
I haven't thought of my life turning points as being mistakes, but reflecting now, I think there definitely was one
-> when in my 20's, I worked in international advertising agencies. I was headhunted at an early age to the top agency in Australia, based in Sydney. I had a reasonably clear intuition/gut feeling not to take the lucrative offer. The vibe was the culture would be cold austere hard. But I caved in, partly because I wanted to escape a difficult relationship that seemed finished, and I was eager to advance in the industry. I reasoned that if it didn't work out or got too hard, I could always go back to Brisbane. Anyway, I never really settled into that agency, and felt at odds with myself. It was a horrible space to be in. Eventually, I contracted a viral infection which developed into chronic fatigue syndrome. I never realized at the time how this was going to be with me for decades to come, and effect my life so profoundly. It took so much opportunity away.
But it set me on a path of understanding health and healing as deeply as I could. I could not continue in advertising and walked away to find solutions with every kind of doctor and alternative therapist possible. Eventually, I was helped and inspired by a wise old US osteopath, and went back to university to study physical therapy.
Twenty years later, I have integrated that formal science based training and hospital and clinic work, with time spent with Tibetan Buddhists, Hindu Yogis, Chinese acupuncturists, and remarkable spiritual intuitives including the US osteopath who became my greatest life mentor. It has been a difficult journey, but it has taught me that clear insight into oneself and what is most important, is paramount to happiness and personal growth. I have fallen off the horse many times, and been tempted to take an easier road....but something deep within me keeps whispering that there is magic and a profoundly beautiful and precious prize just waiting to be discovered by all who dare to forsake the mundane, and persist with courage and faith in something bigger and beautiful. My old osteopath mentor gave me glimpses by performing seeming miracles on the sick, something I have not been able to forget. Conventional life and medical practise seems so flat and colorless after having seen such things.
Coming to True North has been a recommitment to getting back on the horse and giving my all to the quest to find that golden chalice (of more profound understanding of the mind/body and spiritual healing). My inner voice reminds me that for those who give all to the journey comes the greatest reward, and so much more quickly. Time and space can be set aside, when one uses all their love, strength, and determination....never letting those liars doubt, fear, and despair weaken one's resolve.
Onwards and Upwards to everyone who senses there is more to life than meets the eyes!
Cathy
Thanks for sharing your story, Bruce! Please say hello when I'm at TN tomorrow... Thanks. 🙂